6/15/2026

yesterday started out as a nightmare. pmdd kicked in, and unfortunately my family felt the rage and depression that accompanied it.

i wish the economy was better and the country wasn't run by malicious fools so i could have another child and then just yeet my reproductive organs. it wouldn't be so bad if my pms symptors were the same every month like some people i know, but when they go from mild emotional and somewhat intense physical symptoms one month to extreme emotional with nearly no physical symptoms the next, i never know what to expect. sometimes i have no emotional symtoms for three months in a row. sometimes i go years without ever feeling cramps, only to be plagued with the most debilitating cramps i've ever had.

i don't even think there's a doctor in my state who would sterilize me unless i had two existing children and the written consent of my husband. and to think, we're a more progressive leaning state.

well, the day only got worse when i got to work and found out that one of the fitting room doors had been locked for over an hour. customers were lining up to get in, bitching at us the entire time, and i learned that my coworkers had been calling for a manager the entire time and none showed up.

my anxiety was already bad. i'd had a panic attack before work, and the situation made it worse. we all thought someone was in there and had suffered a medical episode, and the managers didn't care. i finally managed to get a manager off their ass and unlock the stall (it can only be unlocked from inside or with a key.) my direct manager wouldn't do it no matter how many calls we made and he cared more about going on lunch than making sure someone was dead.

the manager who finally unlocked it made me look inside. i was fully prepared to find someone either in distress or dead. thankfully, it was empty. We're still not sure how the door was locked. there's no gap under the door for someone to crawl through. no way for them to climb through the top. the only rational explaination was that our manager locked it without telling us in order to keep the work down, which is stupid on so many levels.

or it was the ghost, but he keeps to one part of the store, so i doubt it was him.

i need to find a better job or find a way to become a stay at home mom again. i've never worked somewhere that had a team of fully competent people running the store. nearly ever single job i've had has been a joke.