lord have fucking mercy.

my mom decided to homeschool me in 6th grade. i was one of the rare secular homeschoolers in the state of delaware. most others were homeschooled for religious reasons. and by religious reasons, i mean their parents couldn't bare to let them think for themselves for a single minute of a single day.

naturally, the majority of my friends were members of the evangelical/fundie homeschooling community. my presence caused a bit of an uproar among the parents. but i had fun with it. i attended bible studies, did wholesome, christian activities, and at the end of the day, every mother of every kid i knew hated me because i wore an ultra spoopy marilyn manson shirt sometimes and listened to demonic music like bob dylan.

one day in 2011, i attended a bible study where we were tasked with drawing a scene from the bible. i chose that badass time when jesus said fuck capitalism and flipped the tables in the temple. one of my friends pointed out that the table he was flipping looked like an ak47, and history was made. i went home and drew white jesus (the only jesus that matters to these people) holding an ak47 with a few sayings above him. the ultimate goal was to make t-shirts. it didn't happen, but the image remained a beloved inside joke amont the cooler members of the homeschooling community.

beholding assassins was also an inside joke. i wrote something, and my handwriting was so shitty that it looked like it said "beholding assassins." i don't remember what it was supposed to say.